Not So Good

Toast with KY Jelly.

Thar She Blows

Is it not long past time that the United States had a President committed to God and family, roused by the full-throated cheers of countrymen, rather than a licentious Lothario looking for deep throat? I will gladly vote for this new kind of leader, whoever she is.

Self-Inflicted Satisfaction

Never at a loss for passion or attraction when one is wounded by self-satisfaction/ It wasn't Narcissus or Onan dying by own hand/ But for perfect pleasure did she for herself stand/ I do declare, it's solitaire!

Memory Measures Music

I stepped in poo at Bonnaroo/ Seems that you did too/ I can smell it/ She sucked my cock/ During all that rock at Woodstock/ Someone thought I was gay at Monterey but I was glad to disabuse them/ I said I would never go to Montreux/ But Miles Davis beckoned/ So it was OK to change my mind I reckoned/ I followed the Grateful Dead till I lost my head and had a Lollapalooza

Dumb Fucks United

Dumb fucks united=Obama voters

Rudiments of Dancing

None of this Icarus crap, Amy/ You had quite a gift and quite a curse/ From the first hit, the die was cast/ It was just something too big for you to reverse/ You were headed for a hearse/ So much talent and so fucked-up/ Everybody knew your name/ Trapped in the prison of your fame/ It could never be the same/ You were never ever tame/ Moth to flame, dark little moth to flame/ You taught and you learned/ As you yearned and you burned/ Seeing the psychologist, one more god for the Godless/ You sung out to your heathen mass/ And told them to kiss your ass/ But in the end, the dance is done/ The ball has ended/ And no more fun/ You sought that endless orgasm, that paradise stroke high/ Even though you knew you would die/ Because diva, darling princess, Mama's nightmare, daddy's girl/ There ain't no break room up in the sky/ Mama Cass and Janis could not get by/ Good times are over- you are no more/ Amy glide across the floor, spread your sordid wing/ A devil of a time/ No more indulgences, it catches up to you the day you depart from Eden/ This mortality, this crime/(Chorus:) Amy, dear Amy, I can't hear you shout/ Amy, dear Amy, your amplifier is out- Repeat

About Bill C.

Rapacious rhapsody all devouring/ When a girl needs deflowering

Weiner's Last Stand

Representative Anthony Weiner's photos did not prove that he had a dick but that he was one.

A Baleen Bastard

Filmmaker Michael Moore recently appeared with handcuffs. The prop was intended to show that the so-called "super rich" need to be "arrested". Moore may not have needed to visit the novelty shop to procure the restraints- he has probably already had the manacles to use on anyone unfortunate enough to have sex with him.