The Family Introductions Start

I guess I raved about her to my parents and anyone else who would listen. I, of course, left the sex part out. This magnificent woman had three, count them, three master's degrees. I had a semester and two summer sessions at Vanderbilt and some community college classes. This lady was a McDonald's all-American trombone player, all-state musician in West Virginia, and had marched in both the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (incidentally past my aunt's 52 Central Park West condo) and in the RCA Dome. I couldn't have expressed more superlatives. I felt I had won the lady lottery, educated, talented, and sexy as hell to boot. Well, I invite her to come to my home which abuts Nashville's most exclusive neighborhood. As a point of reference, I am a block away from the West Meade Mansion which last sold for five million dollars a couple of years back. So, Susan comes over, looking rather like an innocent schoolgirl in workout shorts and a T-shirt. She looks younger in this outfit than in my previous two meetings with her. She is effusive in her praise of me who she barely knows to my parents and lavishes compliments on them as well. She says she is mine as long as I will have her to the assemblage. No red flags go up about this early adoration. Perhaps they should have. Her last words as she parts from me and my family are "Daniel, I'm yours-I'm sure you have plenty of other gals but from now on the line forms here (pointing at her derriere), the line starts behind me."