Up in Smoke

Susan had a computer but no Internet access. She decided to accept a free offer from AOL at the condo and connected her desktop. I had earlier had Susan research capital punishment which in spite of my doctrinaire conservative positions on most things, I wholeheartedly oppose, on Vanderbilt's computers and she also printed me off some porno to make the technology seem less daunting and to rouse my interests in all the web had to offer. I had never been on the Internet and had not been on a computer in more than a decade. We browsed the web a bit and somehow the subject of women being able to pick up dollar bills and smoke cigarettes with their vaginas came up. I knew Susan very occasionally would smoke on long drives, she said to stay awake. One evening soon after the vaginal dexterity talk, I arrived and Susan said, "Watch this." She was indeed able to lift, somewhat awkwardly, a dollar bill from the edge of a table with her snatch. Then she reclined on the bed and smoked a cigarette with her cunt. She declared, "You know you don't see that comin' down the river on a flatboat everyday, that's some fine West "By God" Virginia pussy." I had to agree with her on that one.